Blame Noor

hollyheartshd:

This makes absolutely no sense now and is completely unrelated to anything on this blog, but this one time Noor convinced me to write John/Gregg (off of Masterchef) porn and  it was so hideous I never sent it to her. I rediscovered it today and felt it was time.

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• “The Master and the Chef”!!!
• Oh my gosh Holly!! I completely forgot about Tom the PLAS-terer. Aw, what a cutie.
• Okay I don’t know…what is happening right now. There is….beefcake. And cucumber? (Really? Cucumber??)
• NOT A SIZZLE OF THE SAUSAGE AHHHHHH
• “Pudding, Greg.” I actually cannot right now. 
• “Stiffening further like whisked egg whites” Holy hell, h o w are you doing this.
• I HAVE A NEW FANDOM. IT IS CALLED HOLLY WRITING PORN. SEPCIFICALLY, HOLLY WRITING MASTERCHEF PORN.