so let’s talk about noor

professorcockblock:

noor iqbal is an asshole

she has personally victimised me almost daily for the better part of a year now

(jesus that is long, you have bullying me since the 10th of july, which i know because i just went and checked that first ever question you sent to fyrs back when you were aphoenixlament. you used the word yay, you know. when have you ever used the word yay. who are you. who were you. i can’t believe that in our first ever correspondence you said yay. my life is a lie)

90% of noor’s communication is in the implied glare that accompanies her words always

actually just 90% of conversation with noor is what she doesn’t say. the woman is mostly subtext

noor is brad colbert

her url used to be nuremberg but she loves puns so she changed it to nooremberg. i tried to talk her out of it. puns are the lowest form of humour.

noor loves me. one time noor was gone for like 2 weeks and i was eating breakfast and the thought occurred to me that maybe she was never coming back and that she hadn’t told me because she hated me. the idea was literally so ridiculous that i spat cheerios all over the toaster. noor loves me so much that any concept to the contrary causes my breakfast to explode from my face. that’s trust.

noor has more conviction than anyone you know.

noor does not give you what you don’t deserve. you earn her respect, you earn her trust, and if you’re an asshole then she will not waste her time pretending otherwise. it’s actually kind of spectacular.

noor recs the best fics.

sometimes i think that my and noor’s friendship is the weirdest imaginable thing because we’re so different, but then she says things and i’m like, oh, look, my friend is here.

noor is draco malfoy.

she doesn’t moan, she doesn’t bitch, she doesn’t whine. she is a fucking badass lady and she’ll make you cry with a look if she thinks you’re a twat.

am i making her sound kind of scary? good. she is terrifying.

but she’s also secretly all kinds of soft and squishy inside. the best thing in the world is when she shows that bit.

noor does not like one direction. it’s a problem.

noor is harvey spector

and even as i write that i realize that all these men i’m equating her to are dudes she desperately wants to bone. this is not coincidence.

noor dragged me down in to draco/harry and hasn’t let me leave. see, i told you she’s an asshole.

noor gets me.

one time i was dying because of exams and she sent me a revision survival pack and it was filled with chocolate and face masks of the royal family and one direction badges. anyone who knows the woman will tell you what a big deal this last bit is. and a card with a :( face in it admitting her shame, which is currently serving as a bookmark in nate fick’s book. me and my flatmates wore the facemasks and had fights over who got to be the queen. i won because clearly i am head honcho material, but you should know that it got vicious.
i tried to take a picture of the event but honestly i look like the queen was horribly possessed.

have you ever seen anything so disturbing?

i have yet to send anything back because, being an asshole, noor deigned not to tell me it was her birthday. naturally i now have to find a decent enough gift to warrant the belatedness. it’s really all her fault. the total asshole.

missing her birthday is actually why this post exists really, btw. that and the fact that we’ve both been kind of busy recently and idk i’m a ridiculous person i don’t need a reason y’all can shut up and go away. you most of all, fucker.

sometimes i send noor messages through url addresses. it’s the most pointlessly complex and arbitrary system of anything ever but it’s also inexplicably my favourite thing.

noor had this drarry blog back in the day. (it still exists as an archive and you should visit it.) that blog inspired and influenced my own ship blog more than anyone will ever know, it set a benchmark that all ship blogs should strive for. it also means that noor is potentially the only person who truly understands the extent of my recent feels on the loss of my sweet baby blog child.

today my neighbour heather walked in to my room and the first thing she said was ‘IT WAS ALL NOOR’S FAULT’ which really just sums up everything quite nicely doesn’t it

noor iqbal is an asshole

she prefers it when i call her noorbert

the bullet point about heather blaming me is the best one

9 notes + 1 year ago + via + source

#this much amount of love is sickening #and abnormal #maybe we should do that thing where we're mean to each other again #dickface #(i can't do any better than that because imay possibly be still grinning at this post I HATE YOU) #intro